That Should Be Me
by Defying-Gravity-97
Summary: After what can only be defined as the most amazing afair of all times, Darren is having a rough time watching who should be his boyfriend in someone else's arms. CrissColfer fic


"_Hey!" _

"_Hi." Mia replied dryly, her hand, which had paused in the air having been taken aback by Darren's excitement when she walked in, dropping her bag on a chair. "Are you naked?" she asked with disgust, taking her long curls in her hands, holding them up before she tied them into a pony tail. _

"_Nope." her boyfriend lied, stroking the covers over his bare lap. "Just in my underwear. It's really hot in here."_

_The young woman raised an eyebrow at the actor smiling so warmly at her from their bed. Anyone would believe they hadn't even fought like they had that same day. Mia shook her head and wiped the make up tears had melted away from under her left eye as she grabbed a few items from her bag. "Whatever." She replied indifferently, throwing a towel over her shoulder. "I'm gonna take a shower."_

"_Okie, dokie." Darren replied from where he was sitting, still smiling as innocently as when the other walked. "Go! Go!" he said in whispers as soon as the shower was on, pulling Chris out from under the bed, running with him towards the room's door. _

_Before leaving, shoes in his hand, Chris turned to his lover, pulling him into a kiss, so passionately Darren ended up taking hold of the door frame. "I love you." he whispered rapidly, barely getting to hear the other saying he loved him too before he disappeared. _

"What do you think of Grant?"

"Grant?" Darren echoed with a hint of rejection in his tone. He didn't have anything against the other actor; in fact, if anything, he actually liked him. After one week filming with them, Grant showed himself as respectful, funny, and a sincerely good person. It would have been very hard to find a reason not to like him. "He's alright, I guess." the young man replied nonchalantly nonetheless, shrugging his shoulders with a fake indifference.

"He asked me out." Chris ejaculated, exhaling heavily afterwards as if he had been holding his breath that whole time. He didn't dare to look up at his co-star, but it was obvious he had got a great weight off his shoulders now that he had let it out without so much of a sign of anticipation for Darren.

"Wait, he what?"

"He asked me out, Darren." the younger one repeated.

Usually when the other's glass hypnotizing eyes landed on his, Darren would feel an odd, delightful warmth spread across his chest, making his lips curve into a smile. Now they felt like a dagger entering his body in one sharp stab, cutting the nerves that hurt the most. What had happened between them hadn't been brought up since they returned to Los Angeles, but there was no denying there was something invisible but still powerfully magical that linked the two young men together. To Chris that wasn't enough; sharing a spark with someone he once had an affair with is not where he saw himself at twenty two as far as a relationship was concerned. Who knew? Maybe Grant wasn't even the one, maybe he would be the first of many dates… But staying tied up to someone who hadn't even kissed him in months was not going to clear things out for him.

"And I said yes." he unnecessarily added, considering he wouldn't have brought it up if he hadn't accepted to go out with him in the first place.

"You sa-… Why? Wh-What about us?"

"What_ about_ us, Darren?" Chris snapped with frustration, making the other actor swallow hard to hold back tears. "What? Were you really expecting me to just stay available for you so you never, ever come for me? What we did was… It was a mistake. It was amazing, and the greatest mistake I have ever made, I would make it over and over again if I had the chance, but it was wrong. You were cheating."

"I was…" Darren cleared his throat the second he heard how broken his voice came out and took a deep breath before proceeding. "I was going to break up with her."

"Yeah, but you didn't. And I don't blame you; Mia is a wonderful girl, and you guys have this huge history together, and you complete each other… I want that. I want someone wonderful, too. I want to smile the way you do when you're with her."

Chris was oblivious; he was so oblivious it only made Darren's pain grow stronger. His smile with Mia was nothing compared to the one he pulled off when he was with Chris, every sensation multiplied itself by a million when he was with Chris. And yet, for some reason, he was still unable to break up with Mia. Every time he remembered he had cheated on her, he felt guilt making itself a knot in his chest while remorse hammered a sensitive lobe in his brain repeatedly.

"Alright, guys," Zack thankfully interrupted, clapping his hands repeatedly as the cast gathered in the center of the room. During what was left of rehearsal, Darren's mind was miles away; he tripped over his workmates, he reacted five seconds later than everyone else, and Chris knew he was the only one to blame. But he couldn't afford feeling guilty anymore. He refused to stay single forever and be nothing but Darren's trophy, like he was this old toy he once loved and now neglected. He had a life of his own, and it was about time he dedicated some time to it.

It also didn't help that Grant was rehearsing with them; his presence was no problem, but the fact he was being so nice to Darren made him sick to his stomach. The way he offered to help him up when he fell, the way he apologized even though it had been Darren who had bumped him. Ugh, he was just a fucking sweetheart, was he not? So fucking perfect, the perfect guy for Chris, it was such a fucking delight to be around him.

"Darren." their dance coach called him, snapping his fingers to call his attention. "Darren, Darren, Darren. You're not even in this scene." he reminded him, wondering why the young actor was even practicing the routine along with the ones who actually needed to learn it. "Go sit down."

Darren didn't even have time to worry about how distracted he was. He was too busy wondering if Chris was thinking about Grant, if Grant was thinking about him, what they thought exactly, where they were going that night, were they thinking of kissing? Oh, God, were they thinking of having sex? They were so thinking of having sex. Grant was so thinking about Chris' naked, pale, immaculate body spread across his bed, and Chris was so looking forward to seeing the toned muscles that hid under Grant's clothes, eager to be owned by him. He knew it. He could sense it. And made him want to hit his head against the wall repeatedly, or even hit Grant's head against the wall instead.

"Wow." Mia commented blissfully, completely out of breath, the sheets covering up to her armpits. "That was amazing." she added happily, rolling on her side to snuggle into her boyfriend's chest.

Darren's expression, however, was an expression of hurt and sadness. They were probably doing it already; maybe at Chris' place, maybe on the back seat of Grant's car. To his grief he added the guilt he now felt for using Mia as a way to release stress and anger, even if it had been almost the best sex he ever had. _Almost_. He wrapped an arm around her, stroking her bare shoulder sweetly until she had fallen fast asleep in his embrace. And he could only hope that, if the other young men were even having sex at all, Chris would be thinking of him.


End file.
